Connecting Callings

Relationships, Reminders, and Rocky Roads

So much has happened in the last two weeks since I posted about Rio, from helping build a church to my first week of work and everything in between. To be honest, there is no good starting point because everything seems so intertwined. However, after brainstorming, I decided to split my experiences into a few chronological categories that conclude with the main thing the Lord has shown me through each. There are lots of highs but also many lows through this adjustment, and I think it is important and talk about both. I am truly beyond blessed to have the opportunity to be here, but life is not all candy and sugarplums, or whatever that phrase is. Anyways, getting on with it…

Church Build in Bacabal (January 22^nd-26^th)

Bacabal is a city about 5 hours away in the nearby state of Maranhāo. Lauren and I went with a team of missionaries (one being my mom) for a week to bring encouragement and labor to the congregation. This new place of worship is something that had been prayed for years in advance and getting to play the tiniest part in God fulfilling His promises to His children was so empowering. The preacher and his wife were a prime example of what it looks like to walk in obedience trusting that the Lord will provide, and that He did. Of all the things that are variable in this crazy world, it is so freeing to know that God’s plan will always come to pass. I had the privilege of being touched by so many hearts of which I could go on and on about, but at the crux lies the sheer beauty of worshiping with each one. Though different cultures and primary languages, the ability to praise the same God alongside these brothers and sisters was such a joy.

Weekend with Zander (January 27^th-29^th)

Oh my sweet Zander, where do I even begin? I met Zander on my first trip to Miguel Leāo, Brazil in 2017 when he was 8 years old. He would walk the streets with me every day and though we did not share the same spoken language, his smile spoke more than words ever could. When we left, he gave us a live chicken which for his family was a sacrifice; and this same respectful, kind, and gentle heart has rung true ever since. Leaving him in Miguel Leāo the first time broke my heart more than any stupid boy ever could. From that point on, my mom and I have stayed in touch with his family, which consists of his parents and five older sisters of whom three have a child. Due to Miguel Leāo being the smallest, most rural city in the state, maintaining a job is nearly impossible. Additionally, all the money lies in the hands of the politicians, leaving healthcare and school programs gravely underfunded. All this to say that Zander does not have the same opportunities that many people reading this, myself included, take for granted every day. Anytime mom or I are in Brazil, Zander’s mom brings him on the bus to spend the weekend in Teresina with us. I have always enjoyed our time together, but this weekend without the language barrier that once stood between us especially strengthened our bond. I was able to communicate to him that he was the main reason I decided to learn Portuguese which was a pretty full circle moment of which I will never forget. The weekend was packed with special memories, a few highlights being sand volleyball, going to the movie theater, and getting late-night milkshakes with some of my closest friends here. I plan to visit Zander and his family in Miguel Leāo soon and will be looking forward to that moment every day up until then. I am praying and trusting in the Lord to provide a way for him to learn English because that would open up so many opportunities for him. God has reminded me that what I could never dream of accomplishing, He will do perfectly if I just relinquish control. That’s what is so cool about God-sized assignments. This term, coined by the author Henry Blackaby, refers to things that are impossible apart from divine intervention. No matter your belief system or worldview, just think for a second. A little boy from one of the smallest villages in all of Brazil meeting a girl from small-town Kentucky. And even further this connection leading to a boy who could not even read his own language to learn English. I do not know if that is the Lord’s plan, but wow, would that be amazing. I have learned that the things God desires to do through His people are things only He can do, and once accomplished provide a powerful witness to His presence and guidance.

First Week of Work (January 30^th– February 3^rd)

What a stark contrast Zander’s story is from each kid I taught this week. The school we are teaching at, Bright Bee, is the nicest, most expensive bilingual school in the city. The first few days I felt so defeated because the way I had become accustomed to serving here did not translate. Part of me felt as though all the kids I had previously come into contact with would have given anything for the opportunity to learn English, yet the children there have been served the opportunity on a silver platter and many do not even realize it. I was quickly reminded to take a look at the plank of wood in my own eye before looking at the speck in other people’s as I daily take for granted all I have been given. As the days went on, I began to enjoy it more and more due to all the amazing teachers that have shown us so much kindness and all the bonds I have already made with my students. I can’t wait to build relationships with and learn from the people there about their culture and experiences as well as share my own.

Okay side note regarding the adjustment of moving to another country, or honestly just stepping out of your comfort zone, period. I have come to realize that homesickness and the feeling of missing someone or something in general comes in waves of overwhelming emotion. One minute I am laughing with my friends and the next I am slipping off to a different room to wipe my tears and collect myself. There is no warning, just an instant urge to cry and scream and disappear and be held all at the same time. Sorry to get deep but in all seriousness change, though necessary for growth, is freaking hard.

To conclude, some interesting facts about my new home:

1. If the start time for something is 7:00, you can guarantee it will not begin until at least 7:30, “on time” is not a concept in the Brazilian dictionary
2. Clorox wipes, good paper towels, peanut butter, and safety are hard to come by here
3. The coffee and açai are to die for
4. Every decision goes through an 8-step process
5. It is a crime to slam a car door shut, you must close it gently and if you don’t you will be reprimanded
6. You risk your life every time you get into a car because of the 4-foot potholes every 5 feet and 5 motorcycles per lane on the streets of Teresina
7. Brazilians are such a warm people and so willing to help out their neighbors no matter the cost or time commitment, I cherish this greatly and wish to emulate this quality no matter where I am in the world

Tchau!!<3

Transformative 2023

In light of all the lessons taught, promises fulfilled, and challenges overcome, I felt as though a narrative of all the amazing ways I have seen God work this year was in order. When one year comes to an end and the next rolls around, I always find it a bit challenging to “sum up” the last year and set expectations for the one to come. 365 whole days’ worth of interactions, thoughts, trials, and joys. Of moving to another country and back to starting my journey as a nurse practitioner and every little hidden corner along the way. Quite frankly I don’t love the idea of dumbing down countless experiences to a single summary as if it were a box to be wrapped up, tied in a bow, and sent off. BUT I also think it’s so important to process and reflect upon where we have been brought from in order to cling to the fact that we are being carried somewhere we could never even imagine. And woah has the Lord I love moved this year. So buckle up and grab a cup of coffee (and a donut if it was me) because 2023 was quite the journey.

My first journal entry of the year was written as I ventured out into unfamiliar territory. Moving 4,110 miles from my family and friends to Teresina, Brazil with the most amazing travel and accountability partner, Lauren. As we abandoned all comfortability, we challenged each other to trust in the all-knowing God who was calling us into the unknown.

Little did I know how much this 4-month adventure would completely rework everything. To think back on the woman I was on that plane, looking out the window as the landscape changed from bright lights to luscious forests. Hopeful, scared, excited, sad to leave family, nervous, yet at peace with the opportunity to step out in faith for the God that chose me 1^st. I could write for the entirety of 2024 and still have more to share when it comes to my time in what will always be my second home. However, no one has the time, nor the patience for that so I instead decided share the top 23 general lessons, themes, and passions that have added chapters to my life story in 2023, no matter the geographical location.

1. God is good at being God, so let Him. Acting as though I have control over a single situation always leads me to the sobering realization that God does not need me to accomplish a single one of His purposes, yet desires to out of His grace. Opening up my clinched fists to let Him have His way with my worries and burdens replaces them with peaceful rest
2. Nothing I do holds a speck of significance if it is not done in love
3. I must adjust to God’s plan when He reveals it, not make a plan and ask him to bless it
4. I have come to realize more and more every day how special my family is. The closeness and deep connection I have with them is truly one of my greatest blessings

5. It’s not about me, I’m merely a puzzle piece. Therefore, I am not powerful enough to mess up my Creator’s plan for my life or the lives of those around me. The clay doesn’t ask the potter what He is making. This is true freedom

6. You can’t pour water out of an empty cup

7. God’s silence is not indicative of His absence, in fact the silence is often where He works most

8. Friendship is such a gift—being in community with so many inspiring humans is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I am grateful for all they each have taught me and would be remiss to live this life without them

9. God didn’t pull Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego out of the fire or Daniel out of the lion’s den, but instead got into the den and fire with them. I can count on hardships but also have confidence that I am not facing them alone

10. I absolutely LOVE to write, which I discovered through this blog. This year I developed the dream to write a book one day:)

11. My feelings are not the truth, the Bible is. Just because something might feel natural does not mean it is Biblical

12. I grew a new passion for learning languages after getting to see first-hand how meaningful it is to speak someone’s native tongue when desiring to learn more about their culture. In light of this, I have set a goal for myself to become trilingual

13. The call of a Christian is to die to themselves. Being pruned is painful, but necessary in order to bear fruit and bloom where I have been planted

14. Living alone is outright joyful, having the freedom to cook and dance and worship and host at any moment warms my heart

15. If you ask God for opportunities to be His vessel, you better brace yourself girlfriend. The Holy Spirit is alive and active

16. Being a patient’s advocate and building meaningful relationships with them daily as a nurse is without a shadow of a doubt one thing I was put on this planet for

17. Having doubts and questions for God is a necessary element of true faith. His ways are so much higher than ours so bringing these to Him is expected

18. The best medicine for the debilitating disease of feeling useless is serving others. This always refocuses my eyes to the bigger picture

19. Jesus is still in the business of performing miracles and healing

20. I realized how special it is to teach children every day and how much of a difference so many teachers make as they invest their lives into their students

21. God is a covenantal, generational God. Of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Of my grandparents, parents, and myself. I can see so many elements of their hearts and convictions intertwined into my own passions and callings

22. I have grown to treasure a morning cup of coffee, especially if it is shared with those I love

23. When a good thing becomes an ultimate thing, it becomes a destructive thing

And one to grow on that I am clinging to as I step into the new year:)

24. I learned about Mephibosheth for the 1^st time in November of this year through John Mark McMillin performing his song “Carbon Ribs”. Okay y’all, just bear with me because I promise the context is necessary to understanding the significance of this magnificent story. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan, one of King David’s best friends during his reign from around 1000-962 BC. Jonathan died in a battle against the Philistines and Mephibosheth, who couldn’t walk, was left alone and unable to care for himself. King David decided to send out a servant to contact any of Jonathan’s living relatives because he missed his best friend so much. His servant reported back that there was one, but that it was his crippled son (which wouldn’t have been customary to invite). David immediately had Mephibosheth brought to his table, gave him an inheritance, and promised him a seat for the rest of his life. Mephibosheth was invited to dine with the king because of who his father was, not because of anything he had done. It was the sweetest reminder that I have absolutely nothing to offer, yet am clothed with righteousness, given a seat at the King’s table, and offered an eternal inheritance anyways. Simply because of who my Heavenly Father is. And as the song says, “One day when I’m free, I will sit, the cripple at Your table, the cripple by Your side.” Oh, what a beautiful day that will be.

I’m left speechless at the countless aspects of His character, love, and plan through so many different avenues (what I like to call God winks;)

Family, friends, and strangers; plants, animals, and oceans; sunsets, sunrises, and starry nights; conversations, smells, and tastes; walks, runs, and dances; weather, music, and languages.

Being the emotional headcase I am, I sit in utter amazement, balling at the thought of just how much I have gotten to experience this year. From Princeton, KY to Teresina, Brazil to Nashville, TN, I know that no matter where on this Earthly globe I am, I’ll always be in the palm of my Father’s hand. A faithful Friend, comforting Creator, shepherding Savior, and perfect Peace. The constant amidst these ever-evolving, temporary moments.

So “In sum” I have come to the conclusion that through it all I merely desire for my life to be a reflection of God’s love and nothing more. Whatever, wherever, whenever, and with whomever that entails. Yet not by my own strength, but through Christ in me. The One who sacrificed His only son for me smack dab in the middle of my sin. I can confidently say that I don’t understand this type of love, but trust in the One who offers it to me unconditionally.

Learn, Laugh, Lauren

Today’s birthday blog is in honor of my traveling buddy, Vanderbilt nursing classmate, Sadie Robertson-loving sister in Christ. I always roll my eyes so hard when I see the phrase “Live, Laugh, Love” on a coffee cup, doormat, pillow, fill in the blank. So naturally I decided to do a little play on words to make fun of all these amazingly cringy sayings. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t think of two other words that make me think of Lauren more than learn and laugh. For those of you that do not know Lauren, she is undoubtedly the funniest person on this planet, making each and every human around her laugh at every step. She has also been an irreplaceable sense of support these last six months, as I have learned so much from watching her walk with the Lord. My experience in Brazil would not have been the same without her, thus I decided to dedicate today’s post to just how thankful I am God placed her in my life and the importance of accountability. Some of you may be thinking okay sweet that’s great and all but why should I read this? Well hopefully you all can witness a small piece of our experiences together and maybe, just maybe y’all will be able to learn something from her as I have.

Soooo…24 years calls for 24 things I appreciate about Lauren/good memories/things she has taught me. Lol sorry don’t mind my cheesiness.

1. Her ability to go with the flow
2. How trusting she is of everyone. If you know me trust is just not something that comes naturally, and I am confident God has used Lauren to teach me what a healthy trust really looks like
3. Her realness in sharing her struggles with me and not judging me for mine
4. Her dedication to open and honest communication. I hate beating around the bush, so I really admire this
5. All the fun we have together at every turn. I kid you not we can’t go 5 minutes without laughing. Probably at something insanely stupid that nobody else would even find funny
6. Her ability to respect my crazy, anxious, all over the place personality even though it is drastically different from hers
7. All the meals we cooked together in Brazil—from Bible study dinners to American breakfasts for our friends—I will always cherish these times of rushing to get everything prepared while simultaneously jamming out to good music, which leads me to my next point…
8. Our shared music tastes. Just think about that friend you always want to hand the aux to because they are going to play both old, tried and true bops and new ones you haven’t heard but must add to your playlist. I’ll just say this made for some pretty good vibes in our home
9. Our way too early mornings before work spent studying the word and writing out our day’s prayer at the table together. Though we each did this on our own, there was something about meeting with our Father at the same time that felt very powerful
10. The week we spent in Rio before arriving in Teresina. Adventuring around a new beautiful city together was a learning, but extraordinarily memorable experience
11. Her dedication to generosity. It is so refreshing, especially now being back in a culture that is consumed with self-serving at every turn, to have someone holding me accountable to keep my eyes locked on Jesus, the example of outward service, rather than pointed inward on my own comfortability
12. Our shared desire to go back to Brazil as much as possible and dream of serving as nurse practitioners in the country that will always be our second home
13. Our bond from “fighting the good fight” of faith together as Paul would say, from temptations to service to joys and everything in between
14. Cleaning our house together. I know it sounds silly but there was something therapeutic about turning some music on and using our hands to clean a place that had been filled with fellowship, laughter, and gospel conversations all week, prepping it for the same cycle the following week. Okay maybe we didn’t clean EVERY week, but you get the point.
15. Taking the Sabbath as a true day of rest—fasting, watching sermons on the couch, having deep conversations, planning our week. I simply would not have made it in my time in Brazil without our Sunday’s
16. Our shared intentionality about discussing what the Lord was teaching us and how we could improve. She is always challenging me to be a better person, friend, and Christian
17. Her gift of speaking life and wisdom into me and desire for me to do the same. Pouring out and getting filled up at the same rate in a friendship is so special
18. Being able to dance as crazy and stupid as my heart desires, knowing I will be met by Lauren doing the same
19. Our nightly discussions about what our “something sweet” was going to be. It is simply not in our DNA to go to bed without some kind of dessert
20. Getting made fun of every time I stated the blatantly obvious or said “aqui à direita” (here on the right) when being dropped off at our house by an Uber. Lauren has a true gift of being able to make fun of someone in a loving way
21. Passing by each other in the hallway of the school we taught at, usually exchanging quick, funny stories about something that had happened that day. These moments always reminded me that I wasn’t in it alone
22. Getting to share the gospel together. Our mutual commitment to building true relationships, meeting others exactly where they were out of respect for their culture, was a vital element of our ministry
23. The way we would build each other up when one of us was having a rather draining or discouraging day
24. Last, but definitely not least, her loving eyes for others. I can’t recall a single time that Lauren saw someone and judged them for their looks, beliefs, opinions, or differences.

My hope and prayer is that through this you were all able to catch a glimpse at what an inspiring friend Lauren is and what true Christian accountability looks like. Simply put, it is being dedicated to growing closer to Christ together and all that entails. I am beyond thankful to have such a courageous, intelligent, hard-working, kind, and genuine human in my life. Cheers to 24 years Lauren! Love you<3

Raw Reflection

As I sit on this plane from Brazil to the United States, my mind, heart, spirit, and body are flooded with emotions.

Mentally, I am facing a war within my brain between the grief that comes with change and the joy that comes with reuniting with family.

Introspectively, I am hurting from the pain associated with leaving part of your heart in a different place.

Spiritually, I feel close to my Savior but confused about why He is taking me away from what has grown to be home.

Physically, my head feels as though it is going to explode because of all the tears I have shed in the past 24 hours.

For today’s post, I decided to make it more of a reflection upon my time in Brazil. I know that I will have lots of people asking me the question “How was Brazil?” and attempting to answer that in 1-2 sentences would be inconceivable. Therefore, my hope is that this post provides a response in the most real way possible. I have other posts still yet to come about my experiences within my last month there but thought I would put this out first so that you could get a glimpse into the raw, genuine emotions and struggles I am facing in real time.

Feelings I am having

• I feel like two different people within one body. One half pulling me to stay and the other pulling me to my family. Not to be dramatic but just like in the olden days when there was that mechanism to pull people’s bodies in two different directions, I often feel like these opposite pulls on my heart are torture of which I am not going to make it
• I feel hesitant to open my heart up to new friends because the hurt of eventually leaving sucks and is something I have done way too many times in the past year
• I feel so incredibly lucky to have made deep and meaningful relationships with such inspiring people. I am truly in awe of God’s goodness in giving me so many friends that I get to love and learn from not only in this life, but for all eternity
• I feel full of sorrow. Just extremely sad at the thought of not being in the place in which I felt so content in my purpose
• I feel especially scared to enter into a reality in which every person surrounding me will have no clue as to what I am going through and even more scared that I might slip into my old way of caring about things that are not currently important to me
• I feel excited to put into practice all the things I have learned in Brazil back at home, such as sharing my faith with each and every person God calls me to, being dedicated to deepening relationships and discipling women, caring for the one, and being flexible throughout my day, willing to stop and talk and eat and laugh and sit and dance
• I feel just plum inspired when thinking about being able to go back and better serve the rural populations of northeast Brazil after I graduate nursing school
• I feel empty, like there are a bunch of little holes in my heart where each of my friends in Brazil kept pieces with them
• I feel sick, I’m talking physically nauseous, at the thought of living in a culture in which people are quick to turn away from all minor inconveniences that put a kink in their schedules and plans rather than being willing to reach out and open their homes at the drop of a hat without even being asked
• I feel as though I have been touched by the Holy Spirit in a way that has prepared me for whatever might come my way
• I feel slightly numb, emotion after emotion after emotion and then to the point of just feeling nothing
• I feel excited to give Lucy and William and Ari and Jude the biggest hugs ever and to be back in the comfort of my family. Goodness I have really missed my little ones. 
• I feel free. You know the feeling when the wind is hitting your face and your hair is blowing behind you. It makes me believe as though the breath of God is pushing back all the things in the past and allowing me to focus on what is yet to come.
• Lastly, I feel loved. By my friends in Brazil. By all the people that have been praying for me. By my family and friends in the US. But most of all, by my Heavenly Father.

Though the overwhelming amount of variation in my emotions leaves me breathless, confused, and paralyzed at times, I am choosing to trust that God has a plan to use each and every one for His glory. This leads me not to invalidate the joys and struggles I am experiencing, but rather find comfort in the fact that Jesus is walking through them with me.

^“15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:15-16

These verses remind me that not only does Jesus see my fear, anxiety, happiness, sadness, love, and brokenness, but personally identifies with it. And this truly does bring a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Things I will miss

• The lizard family that greets me every time I go out back to wash my laundry
• Being reminded of the beauty in simplicity when I am hanging my clothes up to dry
• Having an excuse to call one of my friends because I have ran out of purified water or need groceries or a ride to sand volleyball
• Running in the rain to try to bring my clothes inside when I was either dumb enough to not look at the radar before washing them or the radar wasn’t right, more often than not the first option is more accurate
• Cleaning the house on Thursdays in preparation to have the most special group of women over to our house to study God’s word to us in Proverbs
• Taking refreshing showers in the middle of hot days to cool off
• Being so dependent on the Lord for big things like preaching a sermon in Portuguese and also for small things like how I’m going to get to church each week
• Spending the majority of my Sundays resting, fasting, and having meaningful conversations with Lauren
• The rainy afternoons and nights breaking the heat and causing people to run inside my house laughing. It’s almost as though I can feel the life in the water making us all kind of crazy but bringing out the childlike goofiness in a fresh way
• The way that my body can’t help but dance to Brazilian music. The rhythm and vibe of a group of friends moving and grooving to live, acoustic Samba warms my being beyond words
• The delicious food. Goodness gracious I am convinced that Brazilian food is the best in the world, specifically the typical food of the northeast. A few of my favorites are farofa, vinegrette, cuzcuz, açai, macaxeira frita, paçoca, chicken empadas, and all the yummy bread
• Playing sand volleyball with my best friends every Monday and Friday. This entailed getting super competitive, going to eat after, dancing to the music playing in between points, watching Ruben fall into the net at least once every time we played, and getting to cheer on and joke with my people
• Working at a bilingual school in which I constantly got hugs from so many precious children, heard “Ms. Alli” about 87 times a day, and got to be a little taste of Jesus’ light and love to my students
• Making meals with Lauren or Luanne, listening to music. There is something about cooking in the kitchen with Leon Bridges in the background that will forever make me feel as though all is well, whether the kitchen is in Kentucky, Teresina, Memphis, or any other place God chooses to place me in the future
• Pushing my brain every day to learn more about a language that is not my own for the purpose of being better equipped to communicate and connect with the most beautiful people and culture

In Portuguese, there are two ways to say I miss you. The first is “Saudade”. The translation is to the word longing, but to be honest there is not a word in the English language that fully encompasses the meaning behind this term. Okay, you know when you open your heart to someone that automatically makes you feel like you’re under a cozy blanket sitting on the couch looking at a lit Christmas tree. Without words, they communicate their warmness and understanding. Then change comes, as it always does, and you have to leave them. This is saudade. The second is “Sinto sua falta”. This translates to feeling someone’s absence. I love this way of saying I miss you because it incorporates the sensation the heart gets when it yearns to be in the presence of someone or something but cannot. The absence is palpable, so strong and close to the heart you could touch it. Both of these terms combined accurately portray what I mean when I say, “I miss Brazil”.

Things I have learned

• That I don’t have to always say yes. Though much improvement is still needed, I am starting to better understand that I will never be the cause of someone’s protection or happiness, only the Lord can truly fulfill those areas in someone’s life. Therefore, it is freeing to realize that I don’t have to be every single thing for every single person every single moment of every single day. Because ultimately, no matter how much I try to make everyone happy all the time, it is not my responsibility nor is it possible for me to accomplish
• The necessity to push yourself to learn more and more about your strengths and weaknesses in order to grow
• Just how much Jesus not only sees and loves me in the midst of trials, but identifies with all the difficulties and every possible emotion that comes along with them
• How to lead a Bible study
• The necessity of consistency in relationships. It comes natural to me to be pouring into people when I am in their presence, but I desperately need to improve upon continuing to pour into and maintain this same connection when the physical distance grows larger
• The importance of making whatever changes necessary in my actions to not damage my witness or be a stumbling block for someone around me
• How to be open to allowing God to prune through areas and feelings inside that might not always be so easy to uncover
• The blessing that comes with sharing all parts of your life with people, as it fosters true community and bond building
• Using the profound words of Katie David Majors “In the beginning, I would have described it as God turning my world upside down, but now I know that He was actually turning it right side up.” Previously, I would have had no problem dropping $300 on a day to treat myself but upon realizing this $300 could mean life or death to provide the medicine and food needed for a child with microcephaly, I can no longer continue as before. I am not saying I will never buy anything for myself or care for myself, but I am saying that upon being “right side up” my eyes are now starting to see needs as Jesus saw them and my previous perspective makes me nauseous
• The wonderous benefits of counseling and the power of putting feelings to words in order to process and move past harmful ways of thinking
• The willingness to be okay making mistakes every time I speak in Portuguese, because if I only spoke when I was 100% certain what I was saying was correct I would have never improved or even been able to make it from one place to another
• The inexplicable power of prayer as I have seen it physically heal, financially provide, and most importantly open people’s eyes and hearts to the free gift waiting for them through placing their faith in God
• How amazing it is to write through experiences. This is something I will continue to do for the rest of my life
• Through being forced to be completely and utterly dependent upon the Lord every single day, that there is no other way I would ever desire to live

You deserve a prize if you made it to the end of that one as I know it was long and heavy. My wish is that through these words, each person was able to get the smallest glimpse into my deep love for this country and its people and just how special my experience there was these past four months.

Tchau!

Prayer & Perspective

I decided to do a special post today to share the story of a two-year-old little boy, Luis Miguel, and his family. Miguel was diagnosed with microcephaly, a rare neurological condition in which his head is much smaller than normal due to a lack of brain development. I had the privilege of meeting this family when I went to the nearby city of Timon and have had them on my heart ever since. There is no possible way to convey with words the gravity of the challenges that this family faces but I am going to try anyways because I truly feel that God has given me this platform to share in order to offer people a new perspective through my experiences here.

Microcephaly presents itself in different levels of severity and does not yet have a cure. Luis Miguel’s case is incredibly severe, in which he has spasticity and cannot talk, eat, walk, or even hold his head up on his own. The only treatment options are to treat the side effects themselves through occupational therapy, early speech intervention, and other specialty procedures. In some cases, it is necessary to separate fused bones around the brain that are applying significant pressure, consequently keeping it from growing and developing. In Miguel’s case specifically, the current symptom his doctors are aiming to treat is spasticity (muscle contraction that manifests itself through exaggerated stiffness). Next week Miguel Luis will be undergoing a minimally invasive surgical procedure widely used around the world to treat spasticity caused by cerebral palsy and other illnesses. This surgery, known as a selective dorsal rhizotomy, involves a neurosurgeon accessing and isolating the sensory nerves connected to the spine that transfer the contraction messages to the affected muscles. These nerve roots coming out of the spine are then cut so that the contraction signals cannot be transmitted to the brain. Although the surgery is widely known and fairly common, any procedure involving the spine and brain is scary, especially when being done on a two-year old. However, both the mom and dad have conveyed to me that although they are afraid, they trust that God has Miguel in His hands. They have spoken about the Lord drawing their hearts close to His through their circumstances, just as it states in 2 Corinthians that His power is made perfect in our weakness. Just two weeks ago, Miguel’s parents decided to accept Jesus into their hearts and trust Him with their lives, making the commitment to take up their cross and follow Him daily. Though my brain does not have the capacity to understand how vast God’s love and provision is, He has tangibly demonstrated this through His faithfulness in drawing near to this family. The Lord just truly amazes me, in particular regarding the courage and peace He gives to His children during both hardship and prosperity.

Miguel’s family is constantly sacrificing their time, wants, and finances for his wellbeing. His mom (Claudia) takes care of him all day every day, and his dad (Fernando), 10-year-old brother (Marcos), aunt, and grandparents all help as much as possible. This puts pressure on Miguel’s father to provide for his family of four, while only being able to work in the afternoons, as they take Miguel to physical therapy four mornings a week. Additionally, they do not own a car and have to pay for an Uber to get to the hospital which is not sustainable long-term. The family used to travel on the dad’s motorcycle, but it recently got taken. The dad would drive while the mom held Miguel as tight as she could in her arms. Miguel has no head control and drivers here are insane, so the thirty-minute drive to the hospital is dangerous to say the least.

It should go without saying, but caring for their family comes much harder than anyone could imagine. Not to mention, the public healthcare here is gravely underfunded. This means that quality care, especially for rare conditions such as microcephaly, costs much more than the vast majority of the population are able to pay. To give you some perspective, Miguel’s medicine alone costs $200 ($R1.000) per month, and an average salary is around $400 per month. This then only leaves $200 to feed a family of four, pay for eight Uber rides every week to get him to and from therapy, and pay the bills. This isn’t even accounting for all the extra things Miguel needs on a monthly basis of which the list is too long to name. Needless to say, this family is surrounded by extreme hardship. Yet, somehow both the mom and dad are smiling and exuding God’s light every time I see them. I will forever be inspired by their strength. I feel sick when thinking about the contrast between their courage and my tendency to worry about trivial details and take things in my life for granted.

Every person’s struggles are valid and real; however, it is important to understand that basic necessities are left unmet every single day in millions of people’s lives around the world. This might be information that everyone is aware of, but these people are more than just a statistic. They are mothers, brothers, grandparents, and most importantly sons and daughters of God that we are each called to love. I pray that each person that reads this would consider that everything in this world is temporary. From emotions to illnesses to accolades to our lives themselves, with the only constant being our Creator. And further, that this would push us all to really contemplate the things that we find important on a daily basis.

Most importantly, if you are reading this and believe in the power of prayer, I could not more strongly urge you to lift this little boy up to the Lord in the weeks to come.

Endearing Encouragement

I have now been living here for about 2 months and could not imagine being anywhere else in the world. I have made so many memories and am fully head over heels in love with my new home. Yes, there are daily struggles, but all the joy the Lord has provided me here is just so much greater than I could have ever dreamed. God has shown me that this joy directly stems from His creation, therefore I decided to use this post to talk about the people in my life that have encouraged and supported me through this adjustment.

Bible study girls: Every Thursday night, Lauren and I host young women over to our house for fellowship and food as we study two chapters of Proverbs together each week. We have been able to build deep relationships with about 10-15 women through talking about the struggles and joys in each of our lives. It has been really sweet to see how the Lord is using His word in Proverbs to demonstrate His love, guidance, and wisdom to us. We have also been able to invite women we meet around Teresina and in the school we work at, which gives us the opportunity to learn more about the people we are interacting with every day. Each and every woman that has attended has taught me something out of their unique perspective. A little shout out to two special friends that I have really been able to open up to, Anny and Simei. They both show up every week ready to pour into the women with their kind words and spiritual maturity. I feel so lucky to have friends as thoughtful as them to push me towards the Lord and intentionally pour into my life as I am attempting to pour into others.

Jório, Nordely, Luanne, and Jório Filho– Jório is the full-time Brazilian missionary here whose family has supported us in way too many ways to name. Jório has a way of getting things done like no one I’ve ever seen before. As soon as you mention the slightest problem, he has already figured out a solution within the minute. He serves his family and the body of Christ daily, whether it’s picking us up from school or just asking us how our day has been. His wife, Nordely, is our Brazilian mom who is always making sure we are taken care of and sending us sweet Bible verses. She is such a powerful prayer warrior, spending hours every morning talking to God. Her heart for others and dedication to prayer is a quality I admire and hope to emulate someday. Their children, Luanne and Jório Filho, are two of our closest friends here. Anytime we are together we are constantly laughing! Luanne, our Brazilian sister, spends lots of nights with us just chatting about life and is always so willing to help us with our Portuguese. She also keeps me up to date on the newest soccer news, especially on my new crush Pedro Raul who plays for a popular team here hehe;)

Arthur– Arthur is such a dear friend that we would not be able to make it without, from our various excursions around the city to movie nights at our place, he is always up for anything. His servant heart is so evident daily through his desire to show up for us no matter the cost. He speaks incredible English and has been able to assist us in connecting with others in all circumstances. Specifically, he has helped me communicate with Zander and his mother regarding the possibility of another learning platform. His ability to culturally filter while simultaneously translating is truly incredible.

Ruben and Raíssa– This sweet couple is a pair I am going to miss more than words can say. Raíssa is pregnant with a baby girl that is due in June and has the cutest style (I only hope to look like her when I am pregnant someday lol). She comes to our Bible study every week and is someone I immediately felt comfortable around. Ruben, her husband, has such a fun-loving personality and contagious laugh that always brightens our day. From giving each other crap while playing sand volleyball to making silly handshakes, he has treated Lauren and I like sisters from the day we arrived.

Fernando & Ana Luisa: Though only 18 years old, Fernando is mature beyond his age. He has been committed to serving us in so many ways, from giving us rides to pushing Lauren and I in our faith. He holds us accountable and helps us understand the best ways to share the gospel here from a practical standpoint. He has taught us lots about the culture and been such an irreplaceable sense of support in our time here. His sister, Ana Luisa, is a spunky little 15-year old girl that we absolutely adore being with, from going to get our eyebrows waxed to ice cream runs. We can always count on a time full of joy and laughter when with these two!

Dalila & Yasmin– I met Dalila about a month ago when I was looking for comfortable shoes to wear to teach every day, as she was working at the store that I ended up buying a pair from. I originally made my purchase and walked out like any normal person. I quickly started to feel something inside of me telling me to go back and talk with the girls that worked there. We exchanged numbers and before I knew it Dalila, Lauren, and I began to build a friendship that consists of a lot of açai and meaningful conversations. What more could you ask for, ya know? In all seriousness, that feeling inside was clearly the Holy Spirit guiding me because we have developed such a sweet relationship already in which we are able to really dive deep into our faith.

I met Yasmin in a similar way except this time I was buying a cookie from a coffee shop instead of shoes at the mall. We have been able to hang out and play sand volleyball together. I can’t wait for more memories yet to come as her smile and laugh truly light up any room she is in. Both Dalila and Yasmin were women that I felt an instant connection with, almost like this unspoken bond, and I am so lucky that the Lord put them in my path.

Bright Bee staff– The name of the school we work at really does ring true with its bright and fun-loving energy. We were with the fifth-grade class this week and have already had the opportunity to help in the 3^rd, 4^th, and 6^th grade classes as well. In the weeks to come we are going to pass through every grade from 7^th-10^th. I cannot possibly express enough how much love we already have for each person we have met at this school (if I tried to name people, the list would be endless). In a previous post, I touched on how the adjustment to this school had been much harder than expected, but God has really used all the staff and students here to encourage us through this transition. Mrs. Andrea, the owner, has been a vital sense of support, possessing a heart and mindset dedicated to making a difference in people’s lives that I deeply admire. Every single teacher has been inspiring through their desire to learn about our purpose here in Brazil, share about their lives, and teach us special aspects of Brazilian culture. One of our biggest goals is not just to convey the love and peace of Christ to others but to also have an exchange of life experiences and how they have brought all of us to the place we are now. The ability to serve and share in this school has been one of our greatest blessings in our time here so far.

Crossfit Gym– Lauren and I really wanted to find a place to work out, as exercise is a vital element to our mental health. Box TT Cross is a gym only 5 minutes from our house and we really love the environment and coaches there. Thamiris, Camila, and Júnior always push us to be our best and do anything and everything to make sure we understand the workouts, despite the difficulty in understanding some of the Portuguese exercise terminology. Additionally, we are starting to get closer with Camila and Thamiris, who are just so much fun to hang out with. We are 100% confident that God put them in our path for a reason. Being active is an extremely important piece of my life so the ability to exercise in such a positive atmosphere is something I am so thankful for.

Simply put, the life-long relationships God has given me here are the core of my experience and I could not possibly be more thankful for each and every one. Tchau!

Rainy, Yet Radiant Rio

With it being my fourth time coming to Brazil, I thought it would be nice to branch out of the northeast and see other parts of the country. I had seen and heard so much about the beauty of Rio de Janeiro, so we decided to stop there for a few days on the way. There was a minor hiccup that was quite challenging to communicate through in Portuguese when we arrived in Rio as one of each of our suitcases didn’t make it from Atlanta. Thankfully, Delta had them delivered to our Airbnb within 48 hours which was an absolute miracle. It also rained every single day which was a bummer as the famous views Rio is known for were covered by clouds, but we made the best of it anyways. I decided to make a little list of my favorite things we experienced in our time exploring the city.

1. We took a full day tour of the city where we saw all the famous sights, Christ the Redeemer, Sugarloaf Mountain, Maracanā stadium, and the Selarón steps. Our tour guide, Flavio, was so precious and gave us some recommendations of places to visit in the northeast while we are in Teresina. Though it rained the entire day, we made some travel buddies that made our day so special. That leads me into my next favorite thing….

2. Our bomb.com travel girls Brit and Madison. We got to meet up with them two other times to eat meals and explore the city together. We visited the Botanical gardens in Rio, ate at Leblon Sushi (which is known to be the best sushi in Rio), went out dancing, and just had such good, deep conversations. This is one of the reasons I love traveling so much because you meet people from different backgrounds and get to learn more about their experiences.

3. Surfing in Arpoador at one of the most famous surfing beaches in Rio. Due to the rainy weather, the waves were really good but not a lot of people were out which gave me plenty of room to wipe out and not mess anyone else up lol. I did a lesson with a Brazilian on the beach that provided the board and gear. He knew what he was doing and gave helpful instructions for what I could understand because his English was not great. This helped me get in the swing of understanding and speaking Portuguese though which was good practice.

4. The live music at the top of the Selarón steps. This couple was singing and playing guitar while Lauren and I danced and it was just one of those moments in which I felt so full of joy. I was reminded of the beautiful culture of this country that I fell in love with and felt so at ease with my decision to move here.

5. Sharing the main reason we decided to move to Brazil with these two little kids while sitting at a beach-side restaurant drinking a coconut. Lauren and I had on the bracelets we use to share the gospel here and gave them ours. It was the first time I told someone about Jesus by myself in Portuguese and was a pretty awesome moment.

6. The sauna at our Airbnb/hotel. It just felt so relaxing and was a nice break from the rain. We just laid listening to music in there; it was such a nice time to decompress and release some stress/process and talk through emotions we were having through the adjustment.

7. All the little cafes, açai shops, and restaurants we spent time in. Every single one had someone that would greet us with a sweet smile, as if they were genuinely happy and excited to meet and serve us. An added plus being that everything we consumed was so delicious. Here are a few of my favorites.

8. Going for a run on Copacabana beach. We went all the way up the beach to Copacabana Palace and it was probably the nicest view I have ever had while on a run. It also felt good to get the body moving after being on a plane for so long.

Overall, Rio was such an incredible experience and I can’t wait to go back some day. Hopefully the weather will cooperate a bit more next time! It is definitely important to be mindful of your surroundings but I couldn’t more highly recommend visiting this beautiful city full of beautiful people.

Tchau!

Hello beautiful people and welcome to my story. Please bear with me as this blog thing is all very new to me. Though I’m a hot mess living in a broken world, my prayer is that through my adventures and experiences you will see how indescribably perfect and whole the love of Christ is. The name of my blog, The Traveling Mustard Seed, was inspired by the verse Matthew 17:20

“ He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Though my faith feels nearly invisible at times, I am reminded that all God requires is a mustard seed because HIS strength is always enough for HIS purposes.

To kickstart I thought I would talk a little bit about why I decided to move to Brazil in the first place. In the summer of 2018, I took a two-week trip to Teresina, a city in the northeast state of Piaui. While here for mission work through my church, I had the privilege of visiting the nearby rural village of Miguel Leāo, which has a population of about one thousand people. I could write an entire book about my experiences there but to sum it up I fell in love with the hearts of the people and they have been on my mind ever since. I was especially sobered by the lack of healthcare resources for the rural populations of this country and immediately made plans to return in 2019. Fast forward to 2020 where I was going to spend the summer in Teresina and Miguel Leāo shadowing medical professionals because of my shared interest in healthcare and serving international and rural populations. A stupid pandemic decided to get in the way of those plans and by the time things opened back up it was my senior year of college. Come June 2022, I had just graduated and was planning to enter a nursing program at UT in Memphis feeling pretty content about finally having a plan. Meanwhile, my mom and friend Lauren were just getting back from a trip to Brazil and Lauren captioned her Instagram post “next time I am going to buy a one-way ticket”. It began to make the wheels of my brain turn round and round upon which I jokingly texted her and said “Wanna quit your job and move to Brazil with me?”. That Sunday I was sitting at church listening to my mom and Lauren talk about their trip and for worship that day we sang the song Fade Away about letting everything of the world fade way. And just like that I knew what my next step was going to be. I wasn’t sure how it was possibly going to all work out but couldn’t have been more sure that I would be moving to Brazil. After that Sunday every single thing that could have fallen into place did with God opening and closing doors left and right. From placing me in an imaginably perfect short term living situation with my two Christian mentors to giving us the ideal English teaching job in Teresina and everything in between, his provision was evident. I could not be more excited to build lasting relationships and experience the culture first-hand. Though I will be teaching English and doing ministry as a part of my everyday life I am confident that the people here will teach me so much more than I could even imagine bringing to the table. This has already been a reality in the few short days I have been in Teresina. To help you all get a grasp of this, I am going to share the story of a sixteen-year-old girl that lives in a city about thirty minutes from here called Timon. I met Emily the last time I came to Brazil and she immediately struck me as courageous beyond her years. Emily lives with her grandmother, Socorro, who is the missionary of the local church we encourage in this town and whose light is truly seen by all she comes in contact with. Emily walks to school every day, which is very common, and was recently robbed of her belongings while on her way one morning by two gang members looking to sell her phone for drugs. Not only does she now have to worry about how she will get school supplies before school starts after break but must also walk the same path every day praying this will not happen again. Despite these circumstances, she told me that she has no choice but to be strong because her education is that important to her and because she trusts the Lord will protect her. This is only one of many stories that puts things into perspective. I have truly had the most impactful few days already and can only imagine all the Lord is going to teach me in my time here. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my travels! I will do another post about my time in Rio de Janeiro soon:)

Tchau!!

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