Transformative 2023

In light of all the lessons taught, promises fulfilled, and challenges overcome, I felt as though a narrative of all the amazing ways I have seen God work this year was in order. When one year comes to an end and the next rolls around, I always find it a bit challenging to “sum up” the last year and set expectations for the one to come. 365 whole days’ worth of interactions, thoughts, trials, and joys. Of moving to another country and back to starting my journey as a nurse practitioner and every little hidden corner along the way. Quite frankly I don’t love the idea of dumbing down countless experiences to a single summary as if it were a box to be wrapped up, tied in a bow, and sent off. BUT I also think it’s so important to process and reflect upon where we have been brought from in order to cling to the fact that we are being carried somewhere we could never even imagine. And woah has the Lord I love moved this year. So buckle up and grab a cup of coffee (and a donut if it was me) because 2023 was quite the journey.

My first journal entry of the year was written as I ventured out into unfamiliar territory. Moving 4,110 miles from my family and friends to Teresina, Brazil with the most amazing travel and accountability partner, Lauren. As we abandoned all comfortability, we challenged each other to trust in the all-knowing God who was calling us into the unknown.

Little did I know how much this 4-month adventure would completely rework everything. To think back on the woman I was on that plane, looking out the window as the landscape changed from bright lights to luscious forests. Hopeful, scared, excited, sad to leave family, nervous, yet at peace with the opportunity to step out in faith for the God that chose me 1^st. I could write for the entirety of 2024 and still have more to share when it comes to my time in what will always be my second home. However, no one has the time, nor the patience for that so I instead decided share the top 23 general lessons, themes, and passions that have added chapters to my life story in 2023, no matter the geographical location.

1. God is good at being God, so let Him. Acting as though I have control over a single situation always leads me to the sobering realization that God does not need me to accomplish a single one of His purposes, yet desires to out of His grace. Opening up my clinched fists to let Him have His way with my worries and burdens replaces them with peaceful rest
2. Nothing I do holds a speck of significance if it is not done in love
3. I must adjust to God’s plan when He reveals it, not make a plan and ask him to bless it
4. I have come to realize more and more every day how special my family is. The closeness and deep connection I have with them is truly one of my greatest blessings

5. It’s not about me, I’m merely a puzzle piece. Therefore, I am not powerful enough to mess up my Creator’s plan for my life or the lives of those around me. The clay doesn’t ask the potter what He is making. This is true freedom

6. You can’t pour water out of an empty cup

7. God’s silence is not indicative of His absence, in fact the silence is often where He works most

8. Friendship is such a gift—being in community with so many inspiring humans is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I am grateful for all they each have taught me and would be remiss to live this life without them

9. God didn’t pull Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego out of the fire or Daniel out of the lion’s den, but instead got into the den and fire with them. I can count on hardships but also have confidence that I am not facing them alone

10. I absolutely LOVE to write, which I discovered through this blog. This year I developed the dream to write a book one day:)

11. My feelings are not the truth, the Bible is. Just because something might feel natural does not mean it is Biblical

12. I grew a new passion for learning languages after getting to see first-hand how meaningful it is to speak someone’s native tongue when desiring to learn more about their culture. In light of this, I have set a goal for myself to become trilingual

13. The call of a Christian is to die to themselves. Being pruned is painful, but necessary in order to bear fruit and bloom where I have been planted

14. Living alone is outright joyful, having the freedom to cook and dance and worship and host at any moment warms my heart

15. If you ask God for opportunities to be His vessel, you better brace yourself girlfriend. The Holy Spirit is alive and active

16. Being a patient’s advocate and building meaningful relationships with them daily as a nurse is without a shadow of a doubt one thing I was put on this planet for

17. Having doubts and questions for God is a necessary element of true faith. His ways are so much higher than ours so bringing these to Him is expected

18. The best medicine for the debilitating disease of feeling useless is serving others. This always refocuses my eyes to the bigger picture

19. Jesus is still in the business of performing miracles and healing

20. I realized how special it is to teach children every day and how much of a difference so many teachers make as they invest their lives into their students

21. God is a covenantal, generational God. Of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Of my grandparents, parents, and myself. I can see so many elements of their hearts and convictions intertwined into my own passions and callings

22. I have grown to treasure a morning cup of coffee, especially if it is shared with those I love

23. When a good thing becomes an ultimate thing, it becomes a destructive thing

And one to grow on that I am clinging to as I step into the new year:)

24. I learned about Mephibosheth for the 1^st time in November of this year through John Mark McMillin performing his song “Carbon Ribs”. Okay y’all, just bear with me because I promise the context is necessary to understanding the significance of this magnificent story. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan, one of King David’s best friends during his reign from around 1000-962 BC. Jonathan died in a battle against the Philistines and Mephibosheth, who couldn’t walk, was left alone and unable to care for himself. King David decided to send out a servant to contact any of Jonathan’s living relatives because he missed his best friend so much. His servant reported back that there was one, but that it was his crippled son (which wouldn’t have been customary to invite). David immediately had Mephibosheth brought to his table, gave him an inheritance, and promised him a seat for the rest of his life. Mephibosheth was invited to dine with the king because of who his father was, not because of anything he had done. It was the sweetest reminder that I have absolutely nothing to offer, yet am clothed with righteousness, given a seat at the King’s table, and offered an eternal inheritance anyways. Simply because of who my Heavenly Father is. And as the song says, “One day when I’m free, I will sit, the cripple at Your table, the cripple by Your side.” Oh, what a beautiful day that will be.

I’m left speechless at the countless aspects of His character, love, and plan through so many different avenues (what I like to call God winks;)

Family, friends, and strangers; plants, animals, and oceans; sunsets, sunrises, and starry nights; conversations, smells, and tastes; walks, runs, and dances; weather, music, and languages.

Being the emotional headcase I am, I sit in utter amazement, balling at the thought of just how much I have gotten to experience this year. From Princeton, KY to Teresina, Brazil to Nashville, TN, I know that no matter where on this Earthly globe I am, I’ll always be in the palm of my Father’s hand. A faithful Friend, comforting Creator, shepherding Savior, and perfect Peace. The constant amidst these ever-evolving, temporary moments.

So “In sum” I have come to the conclusion that through it all I merely desire for my life to be a reflection of God’s love and nothing more. Whatever, wherever, whenever, and with whomever that entails. Yet not by my own strength, but through Christ in me. The One who sacrificed His only son for me smack dab in the middle of my sin. I can confidently say that I don’t understand this type of love, but trust in the One who offers it to me unconditionally.